tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24538453267872122242024-02-06T18:41:05.875-08:00 For the Love of FitEvery day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-74201776623451071102013-09-17T14:14:00.000-07:002013-09-17T14:14:31.033-07:00I Can RunI want to run! I sometimes get this overwhelming urge to just take off at a super fast run, run as hard and fast as I can. But I don't...I was always very athletic but never a runner. As I got bigger the mental block I had about running got bigger and bigger as my weight got bigger and bigger. In the past I would jog and get so out of breath or self conscious that I would mental just shut down. "Oh I can't do I need to stop" 10 steps later I was done. Feeling really shitty and lazy. This has gone on longer then I can even remember. <br /><br />I don't know why today was any different. I went out for a walk because I was really pissed I couldn't find my bike helmet to start riding my bike again. So I went for a walk so I didn't tear the house apart looking for it. <br /><br />I walked a bit then decided what the heck lets try some sprints no one is around. So I did a few lite jogging sprints. I loved it. So every time no one could see I would just take off at a dead run like a kid who was going out to recess. Then when someone came around I would stop. Soon I realized that I was beet red and huffing and puffing. These people must be thinking "Wow that girl is so out of shape she can't even walk up these hills!" Well me being a crazy person I just couldn't have that. So instead of hiding my running from people, when I came in view of them I just took off and ran as fast I could. <br /><br />You know what I found out? I can run a helluva lot further and faster then I could have ever imagined. It was awesome! <br /><br />I ended up doing 3.2 miles. Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-85638039453133281532013-09-05T14:12:00.003-07:002013-09-05T14:12:47.969-07:00Ask for helpI need help...I don't understand why these words are so hard for me to say. In almost every aspect of my life I have a hard time asking for help. When my son was born and I was recovering from a horrible infection and surgery I had a hard time asking for help. When I was in school again I had a hard time asking for help. When I needed help with finances I didn't ask for help. Right now, I need help with my weight loss and I still didn't ask for help.<br />
<br />
I am not sure what it is about me that makes me this way. I will try a million different ways to do something before I ask for help. I am not sure if it was something that goes back to when I was younger or not. I guess that will always be a mystery.<br />
<br />
Most people don't know this and it takes a LOT to admit this. But I am a failure when it comes to the one goal I have been working on for so long. Losing Weight.<br />
<br />
I am everyone's biggest cheerleader and support system. I've seen many of my friends and weight loss buddies lose weight and reach their goals, but not me. I have the knowledge I need to do it. I know exactly what it takes. But for some reason when it comes to actually going through with it I just can't do it.<br />
<br />
Finally I have decided to reach out and ask for help. My sister is dating someone who is getting a Masters degree in basically what amounts to just what I need. So I finally just put it all out there and asked for help. What I have been doing, what I want to have happen all of it. I am hoping this is just the motivation that I need to get to my goal.<br />
<br />
When I was young I was so very active. It was nothing for me to spend a few hours at basketball practice and then go and ride my bike for 6 miles ( up hills). I miss that person and want to be the adult version of her again. I don't want to live my life always sitting in the parking lot while everyone else goes and hikes up a crazy steep hill, or say no thanks because I am worried I might be to heavy to do a particular activity. Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-48170929671105283382013-08-27T00:30:00.003-07:002013-08-27T00:30:41.943-07:00Always Selling<div class="book-desc" style="clear: both; margin-top: 25px;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I am SICK to death of
friends, family even strangers trying to sell me stuff. At first I was
naive to it all. I was at a party and a guy starts talking to me about
the weight he lost. I am of course interested because I am trying to
lose weight. Stupid me thinks that maybe he is going to give me advice
or something. WRONG! We talk for a few minutes and then comes the sales
pitch. He wants me to buy products from him and sell them..Um NO I think
pyramid schemes are ridiculous and I don't understand WHY people are
still doing them. So this type of thing has been happening a LOT lately.
<br />
My husband and I get stopped by a lady..now I admit this one caught
me off guard. She was a nice older lady who stopped us to talk to us
about our baby(which happens often). So she asks what we do and we tell
her, we have our own business. She says well that is great, I help small
business people market themselves. Woah! NO way okay! Well she wants to
meet us, so we meet up and BAM, trying to get us to sign up for Amway.<br />
<br />
The most recent ones have to do with Beach Body coaches. I have
nothing against you. I have friends who are coaches. But seriously stop
pouncing on EVERY person trying to get healthy. I help manage a Facebook
Group of about 3000 people we are a group that supports women in eating
clean and working out. Or how ever you need support. We don't sell
anything, we don't promote any one workout. It is literally 100% free no
strings attached. We actually try to keep the spam and soliciting out
of the group. The women are there to motivate themselves and each other
and not be hounded or pressured into buying things so we don't allow any
sales or anything. But I swear our group name must be in the BB hand
book because they are coming to the group in mass amounts. Some of them
are completely respectful of the group although who knows they are
probably messaging members behind our back. But they don't post sales
stuff in the group, which is what we ask. Then their are others that say
PM for information on how you can lose weight like I did. Or they will
post something similar and get unsuspecting women to fall for it. They
then pitch them on Shakeology and all the workouts. Oh join my challenge
group and then the people end up buying product because they see the
results. Someone will ask what is a good workout and they start saying
BB ones and then let me sell you one or PM. Our members are getting
really upset by this and so are we.<br />
<br />
I have even fallen victim to the BB coach talk. It was when I first
joined the group and we were talking about our work. Someone says I am
an Online Fitness Coach..Awesome! That sounds just like what I want to
do. So I say Oh how do you do it? BAM I am suddenly being asked all
these questions and buy a product! It was insane. I happens more then I
like.<br />
<br />
Like I said I don't hate you BB coaches but there has to be another
way. So that it doesn't seem like you are sharks in the water waiting to
pounce on the first person who mentions they did a situp.<br />
<br />
My long time friend messaged me today on Facebook. Haven't talk to
the guy in AGES but I know what he wants. He wants to get me to buy some
stuff from him. He wanted to talk today! I made up a reason I couldn't
and I won't talk to him again. I am just so sick of being sold stuff!!! <br />
</div>
</div>
Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-37127365016117590442013-08-21T01:39:00.004-07:002013-08-21T01:39:40.116-07:00What Message Are We Sending?<div class="book-desc" style="clear: both; margin-top: 25px;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I have been on this "get
healthy" journey for many years. Why many years you ask well because
even thought I know exactly what I need to be doing..I am not very good
at following through. I am working on that thought. I had a lot of
emotional issues that I needed to work through and I think I am doing a
good job with all of those. I am finding a healthy balance between food
and activity. I know some people have to be all or nothing and I don't
want that to be me.<br />
<br />
Today I saw something that got me thinking. Now in the beginning it
didn't seem terrible to me, and to be honestly it doesn't still it just
seems a bit sad I think. First let me just say I am 100% for being
healthy, knowing your limits and also if you want to drink your meals go
for it.<br />
<br />
So here is what I saw we were out eating as a family which we do one
time a week. I watched a couple my age come in and they had two small
daughter. The father and daughters all got food to eat. The mom only had
a glass of water and her green smoothie. Which we all know are healthy
and not bad for you but that isn't what I am getting at. At first I was
like Wow it takes real self control to be here and not eat.<br />
<br />
Then I got to thinking more about what kind of message she was
sending her young daughters. She was telling that them the food she was
letting them have wasn't good and that she wasn't eating it. This I feel
like will lead to them being cautious of food very early on which isn't
bad, food education is a great idea. But when you are sitting there
drinking your meal while they eat. I just got visions of the things we
use to do in high school when we "dieted" we would only drink liquids,
skip meals it set us up for a whole mess of problems later on. I
remember watching my mom diet when I was a kid and she was eating
healthy food and doing it in healthy ways but it STILL made me overly
aware of size, weight and all of that at a very young age. I had body
image issues when I was in second grade and just so you know my mom has
NO idea. No idea that seeing her worry about her body so much caused
that. So I was thinking about what these girls might think about their
mom only drinking her dinner. Not that what she was drinking was bad but
she could have easily ordered something healthy and clean to eat at the
restaurant.<br />
<br />
I guess the point of this whole writing is; do we really know the
message we are sending to our kids? We are trying to be healthy but
maybe we read a label and say Oh this has to many calories and suddenly
you have a 8 year old refusing to eat cereal because it has to many
calories( true story a girl refused her cereal because it had 110
calories). These kids aren't old enough to understand it like we do as
adults. What they see is 100 and think that is a lot, or they see mom
not eating and think it must be best not to eat. And no matter how much
we think we are hiding these things we aren't.<br />
<br />
Again so I don't get hate notes I don't think there is anything wrong with having shakes, or counting calories. <br />
</div>
</div>
Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-71887765263143704022013-07-26T02:59:00.002-07:002013-07-26T02:59:17.412-07:00Workout ADDI love to workout. I love the feeling I get when I am sweating my butt off and I love the feeling I get after a workout. I feel accomplished, I feel slightly tired and I just feel so good. I have more workout dvd's then one person should really have. But still I find that I get bored easily. I have found my new best friend when it comes to workouts. YouTube!! There are so many workout on there that you just put in what you feel like doing and there is likely a workout for it. It is completely awesome for someone like me!!<br />
<br />
Lets talk about food a little bit. Tonight I made the BEST dinner ever. We have these salmon fillets and they tasted kinda gross when I was just steaming them. So tonight I was just trying to get ride of them. I mixed tomato sauce and paste with some clams and made a sauce. Seasoned it with garlic and chipotle pepper. Then I topped my salmon with it and YUM!! I keep experimenting with food to find healthy versions of things that just taste amazing. My snack tonight was peanut butter with cocoa it was similar to candy so that is a win for me.<br />
<br />
Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-63782346810014031822013-07-11T02:14:00.002-07:002013-07-11T02:14:15.153-07:00Late Night WorkoutI get my workout in when ever I can. Sometimes it is in the morning, sometimes the afternoon and occasionally it is very late at night. I wasn't going to workout because it was late and I wanted to sit on my butt and watch Tv. But I decided that if I want to reach my goals then I can't just sit there and hope a magic genie comes along and grants me 3 wishes.<br />
<br />
It was Day 2 of Supreme 90 which means Ultimate Ball. I love that workout. It makes me feel so strong. I wish I had more to say right now but it is late and I need to get to bed.<br />
<br />
<br />Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-48580058490564876102013-07-09T00:55:00.000-07:002013-07-09T00:55:00.005-07:00Self-ConfidenceWhen I was a teenager for a brief moment I had a lot of self-confidence. I was thin, pretty and got along great with everyone. I really honestly wish I could pin-point the moment that all changed. Well maybe it was when I was talking to a guy online I weighed probably 150 and I was 5'6 he told me I looked fat. Maybe that was it..I honestly don't know when it could have happened. But I can tell you that after it did I started taking notice of comments like you are fat, or you need to lose weight, or are you eating that. Recently I started talking to my sister about my weight problems and she said well it is no wonder you use to cook eggs and toast in the middle of the night...I had no memory of that. None at all! I do know that binge eating especially at night was a problem for me for a very long time.<br />
<br />
But slowly I started to lack self confidence. I would not wear shorts my legs were to white, to lumpy, to short, to fat whatever reason I had I would sit in the heat of summer wearing pants. Then in adulthood I discovered capri's which became a staple in my closet for years. I only started wearing shorts when I was pregnant because lets be honest what kind of jerk will make fun of a pregnant lady. I think it comes down to the fact that I don't want to be made fun of.<br />
<br />
I am always looking at my fat rolls, my fat stomach. I hate my stomach..I have always looked pregnant even when I wasn't. I have a very muscular frame so I pack on weight but I can carry it well. Most people would be shocked to know my actual weight because I carry it well.<br />
<br />
So I need to work on my self confidence. My husband doesn't understand why I had this self hate for all these years. I don't either. But I do know that I am starting to find things about me that I love. I love my eyes. I love my skin, my nose. I will work on loving the rest of me, slowly. But I will get there.<br />
<br />
Today I wore shorts out in public, I wasn't embarrassed and I didn't care what anyone thought of me. How about a little cheer for progress!!Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-46881306254501869682013-07-01T12:28:00.002-07:002013-07-01T12:28:44.112-07:00Change of HeartI won't be hiding my old entries, mostly because I don't know how..but also because I realize I am not the only one that has these issues and maybe if someone reads this they will realize they aren't the only one either. So they shall stay. Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-17029852189104319902013-07-01T02:03:00.000-07:002013-07-01T02:03:01.993-07:00Just a QuickieFor some reason I felt the need to delete all entries except from the last few days. But me being me I couldn't delete them so I made them unavailable. I am sick of looking back at the person who kept failing. I know that those experiences have given me the knowledge and will to be where I am today, but I feel like it is living in the past a bit. Every start over, every oh Monday. To me it feels a bit like cleaning out your closet and getting rid of all that junk. It feels good.<br />
<br />
Today was another hot one here. Nothing like they are getting in Arizona but hot for here. Due to my little boy getting sick yesterday from the heat I was a cautious mama and didn't go out and do anything crazy. I am still well within my exercise every 3 days rule so its all good.<br />
<br />
The more I learn about living a healthy lifestyle the more it feels like a game of the mind rather then body. If you can get your mind to cooperate then your body will too. <br />
<br />
It is late and I need my beauty sleep. Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-24052765129815544862013-06-30T00:32:00.000-07:002013-06-30T00:32:48.622-07:00When are you due?Dreaded fat person questions. Here is a piece of advice. Unless you are absolutely, positively with out a doubt sure a woman is pregnant..don't ask! I don't care how curious you are. Have you heard the saying, curiosity killed the cat? Well guess what the fat lady killed the curious question people. :)<br />
<br />
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}" style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">Today
a well-meaning elderly couple asked me when I was due...while I was
holding my 10 month old son. I admit that any extra weight on me goes to
my stomach area and I look pregnant. In the past this would have
triggered a WHOLE mess of things, emotional eating, pity party,
self-consciousness kicking into full gear just to name a few. I never
know what to say in that situation that doesn't make it worse, so I just
kinda ignored it and said no, one is enough right now. It took them a
while to get it. I admit I threw a pity party for about 5 minutes then I
let it go. I continued on to my mom's house and saw a large plate of
cookies, bags of chips, lets just say a emotional/binge eaters dream. I
looked at it and grabbed some fruit. I thought about things and decided
who cares if they or anyone else thinks I look pregnant because I have
come a long way so far, I am not done with my journey so I won't let
that set me back or even worse derail me completely. This mental
thinking as been a LONG time in the making to be able to deal with this
in a healthy way. So if you can't yet..don't worry you will.</span></span></span></h5>
Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-60409722520548753572013-06-27T19:37:00.002-07:002013-06-27T19:37:38.628-07:00Where I come from<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have sat down and wrote this about me many times.
Why? I don’t know, over the last 13 years I have written it so many times I
almost have it memorized. I always think back to that girl in second grade and
if I could talk to her now I would tell her “you are not fat!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Yes, you read that right my eating issues started
back in second grade. There wasn’t a particular event that triggered it. No one
called me fat; no one made fun of me. What I do remember was my best friend.
She was a small petite girl (still is). I just remember standing next to her
and being bigger then her. I was taller than her, but in a second graders mind
that meant I was bigger and I must have been fatter. This was far from the
truth because as an adult I see pictures of myself back then and I was a skinny
kid all legs. But from that moment on I wouldn’t share clothes with friends
because I was worried they wouldn’t fit. I would be worried about playing in
things like tunnels because I didn’t want to get stuck. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Fast forward to about 7<sup>th</sup> grade, I still
had those view of being fat. I also got braces that year which added to my self
confidence issues. I was never an ugly person. I never got made fun of, I was
actually pretty popular. So with the braces I ended up not eating lunch at
school because I didn’t want to get food stuck in my teeth. I didn’t have time
to brush afterward before class. So I didn’t eat lunch…I also didn’t eat
breakfast.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was also in Basketball and
when I wasn’t practicing or playing games, I was exercising. Riding my bike 6
miles at a time, step aerobics, any kind of cardio I could think of...again I
don’t really know why. I wouldn’t say I intentionally had an eating disorder
because I wasn’t trying to starve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
didn’t eat for the reasons I explained and I exercised because I liked it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I also remember during that time period I was very
tired. I slept all the time. Looking back now it was clearly because I was
starving. I was burning all these calories and not taking enough in. My neck
was thinner then my forearm is now. Yet no one said anything. I would say it
was mostly due to being naïve. I was naïve about the situation...I didn’t know
anything about calories and exercise or how they worked and it would be YEARS
before I fully understood the concept of your body needs a certain number of
calories to function.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To just breathe,
pump blood, run your nervous system you need a base number of calories...this
would be why when people starve their bodies shut down I suppose.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I didn’t know it then but that naïve teenager set herself
up for years of weight gain, weight loss, emotional eating, bingeing, slow
metabolism and sometimes I honestly felt like I just wanted to give up and be
fat forever. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My attempts at weight loss in the past were let us
be honest here; they were half-assed. In the beginning it was because I just
didn’t have the knowledge to make good decisions. If there was a new diet I was
on it because it promised me that which I wanted most….to be thin. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Over the course of the years I educated myself on
calories, proper nutrition and exercise. I learned the correct ways to lose
weight. I learned that there is no quick way to lose weight. I learned that this
is not a sprint where I can do well for a week and see results the next day. It
is a marathon where I need to constantly be taking steps in the right direction
and eventually my efforts will pay off. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Of course knowing what I need to do and actually
doing it are two different things. Even when I had all this knowledge I
couldn’t maintain my motivation for any length of time because like everyone
else I wanted instant gratification. If I ate well and exercised I wanted to
see the results immediately. This mind set got me to start and stop my healthy
lifestyle more than I can count. It also helped me gain 100lbs. Yes that is
right I went from being a very active child and teenager to a 100lb over weight
adult. This has been my life for the last 13 years. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It seemed like I was always starting, always trying
again, always waiting until Monday to start. Even with all the knowledge I had
I still made bad food choices; I also chose not to workout.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was full of excuses of why I couldn’t stick
with it. Why I would never lose weight, why it was impossible that something
was wrong with me. I even put off major things in my life because of my weight;
.I put off having a child, I put off getting a degree in my dream field because
who would take me serious if I was fat. I even worked at Curves for a while
helping other people reach their fitness goals…yet I could never reach mine. I
always wondered if my before pictures would ever have after pictures next to
them. If people would ever say this is Stephanie she lost 100 lbs doesn’t she
look great, or if I would be someone’s motivation. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Somewhere in the last 13 years I became an emotional
eater. At one point I begged my husband to help me. I said please help me, help
me stop. At this point I would find myself just binge eating all night long.
When I begged him he looked at me and said he had no idea I was eating that
much…I had been sneaky about it. Emotional eating was very hard to overcome and
still is a huge battle for me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me
tell you on a day that is extra hard I want nothing more than to just bury my
head in the cupboard and eat everything in there. But I don’t, I’ve found other
things to do. When I am stressed I workout, I browse the internet for fitness
information and drink a warm cup of tea. Since I have a 10 month old sometimes
I tell my husband to watch him and I lock myself in the bathroom and take a
long warm bath. Bottom line I stay away from food. It takes practice to
recognize when emotional eating is happening. I have figured that out with
myself and each person has to figure it out for themselves…no one can do it for
you. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Not only am I an emotional eater but I LOVE food. I
have a serious addiction to food. I love tasting new dishes and eating things
that I have had a million times because they taste good. So I had to change the
things that I love. I have picked healthy foods to love. I am a firm believer
that everything should be in moderation. Food should NOT be the enemy,
extremely limiting food groups is a huge disaster because for me if I tell
myself I can NEVER, ever, ever have chocolate again…then I am going to really
want it and drive myself bonkers until I have it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rather if I feel like having chocolate I have
it. I don’t have it every day and I pick small sizes. Same with anything I eat
that can’t be revamped into a healthy alternative. I realize this is a tricky thing
to accomplish it took me many years to be able to indulge in certain foods and
not completely go ballistic and eat huge portions. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Today I have dropped the excuses and about 30lbs. I
have a LONG way to go, clearly. My mindset has changed. In the last two years I
went through one of the darkest, most depressing times of my life. There was a
death of a very close family member and loss of everything jobs, homes
everything, the economy was not good to my family. But in that two years I
learned something, no matter how horrible the situation there is a point when
it turns around. I could sit and let my life pass me by; be the fat mom, the
fat wife and never be happy. Or I could stop with the pity party and get my
butt in gear. When I found out I was pregnant it was then that I knew for
certain I would change. I never, ever want my kids to worry about being fat or
overweight. Or get picked on for having a fat mom. I wanted to play with them
and enjoy life with them. I need to be their example. Even though the tough
times kept coming and still keep coming I just know that I can’t let my life
stop because of them. Sometimes I feel like that character in the movie in the
bullet proof vest that is getting pounded with bullets yet they still stand and
push forward. This is my new mantra, just keep going. I can’t sit and wallow in
it and feel bad. I let myself have those emotions but I have them when I am
sweating my butt off working out. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I am nowhere near my goal. I don’t think I will be
there anytime soon and I am finally okay with that. I keep going; every step I
take in the right direction is a step toward my goal. I know it won’t happen
overnight and it won’t be quick but this is my life and I am changing my
lifestyle for the long run.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Here is to being healthy for the future. </span></div>
Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-10951723979257356842013-06-27T00:01:00.000-07:002013-06-27T00:01:01.010-07:00Lacking in the blogging departmentI haven't meant to slack off on my blogging. But you know what having a baby is hard work! I thought that I would have more time as he got more mobile and needed me every second. WRONG!! Now I am constantly chasing him around and saying don't eat that or stop biting the cat. I rarely have a moment to write down my thoughts on my diary let alone here. I will try though. He is almost 10 months old now..I can't believe it.<br />
<br />
I have still been on my get healthy track. Remember I took 9 months off..hehe it was sure nice not to have to think about the pressures of gaining weight or looking fat. But alas I can't be pregnant forever nor would I want to be.<br />
<br />
I found an amazing group of women who are turning into a really great support system. I just love it so much. They have inspired me in so many ways. Give me that extra motivation when I can't find it on my own. I have also decided to go with my gut and follow the career path I have been wanting to take for years. Public Health Education: Physical Activities/Exercise. I put it off because I was overweight. I still am but I am sick of putting off my dreams and life because of this weight. I am ready to work hard to get where I want to go.<br />
<br />
I have a new look on life and weight loss. It isn't a sprint I can't expect to eat really well and workout and be skinny the next day (but lord knows I would love that). It is more like a marathon. You have to eat right and exercise for the long haul and you will get where your going. I make it a point to go no more then 3 days without exercising. Youtube has become my best friend. I get VERY bored with workouts so I need to be able to hop on there and say okay I feel like cardio today..and find something new. Its great.<br />
<br />
I really promise to write more if my boy will let me. Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-71782629592437603972013-01-07T23:26:00.000-08:002013-01-07T23:26:19.220-08:00Confessions of a FoodieI wasn't going to write about this. I know that I don't have to either. I can just not put it in print and then no one will now that I had a setback. Why do I feel like all of a sudden I am in a confessional. Father...I have sinned...<br />
<br />
Well I have not done a great job at eating the last few days. As I told you I had a horrible sickness that passed. I honestly couldn't even stomach foods that I normally want to eat (still can't drink soda). So I thought I was in the clear, thought it would be easy..hey my body will do this work for me, it won't let me eat any of that stuff.<br />
<br />
Then I started down that slippery slope...I went out with my sister and her friend on Friday after a day of looking for wedding dresses. We went to Red Robin not my favorite place..so I was okay. They have bottomless fries you know....I bet you can see where this is headed. Not just yet hold on for a moment. So at Red Robin I knew fries are my crack so I didn't order any...SAY WHAT!? You love french fries and you didn't order any?? Yep! But don't break out the trophy just yet. So I get a small cup of tortilla soup (high calorie I am sure) and a Turkey sandwich with water. Felt pretty darn good about that one. The next night we went to my parents house for second Christmas with my sister. So I hate pretty healthy there..no seriously I did. Then there was a bit of drama that I am not going to get into which resulted in us going out to dinner on Sunday night to Famous Daves BBQ. I got 4 sliders, I called them a variety pack of sandwiches because they are 4 of the most popular sandwiches there and I got mashed potatoes...no french fries yeah me!<br />
<br />
Until tonight.....<br />
We were out and about and my husband asked me where I wanted to go. I left it up to him it was between a place called Wok Inn and Red Robin...Wok Inn is a buffet but you get fresh meats, veggies and all that so it isn't to bad I never over eat there. BUT he let me choose between the two places...I picked Red Robin...Yes the place that I don't really even like. I got a burger that wasn't very good and french fries...I don't even know why..well I think I do actually. I think this has been festering inside me since the last time I was there when I didn't order them. So I got my crack...it took my 3 days but I got it. I feel just awful about it. Clearly this is a problem. It wasn't even like I was craving french fries. It wasn't on my mind. So I don't know what the heck happened. Maybe I should start a thing where I am x days free of french fries.<br />
<br />
So like I said I didn't have to write about this I could have pretended it never happened. But it did and by pretending it never happened I would be in the same situation every other time.<br />
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Day 7 of the new year Day 0 French Fry free..Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-48844218122336080552013-01-06T16:17:00.002-08:002013-01-06T16:17:41.543-08:00Happy New Year!The new year was not so happy around my house. We rang in the New Year with friends and then no more then 6 hours into the New Year this momma got sick! Not just the regular sick but the lovely Norovirus sick. I swear I never get sick but when I do it is bad. While I was sick my husband took care of the baby which didn't go well considering baby wanted Momma who couldn't come near him and so he decided to scream most of the time. After the initial sickness it took several days to recover, however my husband ended up getting it a day after I did. So baby went to Grandmas for a day and then I was back to taking care of him even though I was feeling only about 75% better. Husband and I are on the mend and we are crossing our fingers that baby doesn't get this sickness.<br />
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So as you can see my idea to start my way to a healthier me has been postponed. I am getting myself geared up again to get this thing going. I have to...my sister announced her wedding will be April 6, 2013...WHAT! 3 months to look super hot...crap! I will do my best and definitely be giving my 90 day Supreme workout a go. The reason they gave such short notice is that they both work in the Hotel industry he is a head chef and she works in sales. So they barely ever get any time off except during the off season. So it was either do it now or wait another year which she wasn't going to do.<br />
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So we have the dress, we need a cake, and photographer. Should be easy enough....<br />
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The good news about the damn sickness is that it was like a reset for my body. I can't drink soda anymore it disgusts me. I am so afraid of eating the wrong food and getting sick that I just don't eat a ton of food and just eat when I am hungry and make sure it is bland and not greasy. So I guess have a bright side to being sick.<br />
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Here I go...I plan on doing my workout tonight I will let you know how it goes. Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-8014950005657121132012-12-31T00:36:00.001-08:002012-12-31T00:36:24.690-08:00ReasonsOne of the "homework" assignments given as part of the weight loss challenge was to write down at least 5 reasons that I want to lose weight.<br />
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1. Health<br />
I am really lucky that overall my health is good. I don't have any illnesses related to being over weight yet. But I know it is just a matter of time. So my number one reason to get healthy is for my health. I had a taste of what it would be like to have diabetes during my pregnancy and I didn't like it at all. Plus I want to be around for a long time so I want my body to hold up.<br />
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2. My Son<br />
Before I had a baby my life was my own. If I did something stupid or didn't do anything at all it was me who was effected. Of course after I got married things effected my husband to a point. But now I have a son. If I choose to gain 200lbs and eat crappy food my life will be short, my son will not have a mother. I have seen first hand what losing a parent does to someone and I don't want to have my son go through that if I can help it.So I need to be healthy.<br />
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3. Activity<br />
I always was a very active person growing up. Of course with the addition of extra weight that has changed. I want to be able to go hiking, biking and swimming without having to be embarrassed because I am out of shape. <br />
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4. Set an example<br />
I want to set an example for people. To be an inspiration, I know plenty of people who need to lose weight and I can't rightfully tell them that they need to when I am sitting here the way I am.<br />
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5. Vanity<br />
Of course I would be lying if I said I won't care how I look. Because I would love to be able to walk into a store and pick up an outfit and have it look great on me. I don't go shopping anymore because nothing looks right. Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-45865063379181300552012-12-30T18:00:00.001-08:002012-12-30T18:01:08.175-08:00Cravings are weirdI have a few minutes to write something while my boy is preoccupied with his flashy star toy we lovingly call "Star Friend".<br />
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I have joined a weight loss challenge on Facebook. It is put on by someone who has had 3 children, and leads a very busy life but she still keeps fit and finds time to do that in. A question was asked on the group for the challenge about what would be our "Kryptonite" food.<br />
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French Fries...<br />
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As I wrote about before French Fries are the one food I can't avoid. The weird thing about that is I seldom actually crave french fries. I know that sounds crazy but it is true. I don't sit at my house and see an ad with fries and instantly need them. I have a few bags of fries in my freezer that have been there for months and haven't been eaten. French Fries don't make me a crazy lunatic until I get them, no that isn't how it works.
If I go out to a restaurant that has French Fries that is where the problem start. I know I could order a side salad or some veggies but I don't. I know I could simply not get them at a fast food joint. But I don't when I see them on the menu I just have to have them with Ranch of course....that is how I gained so much weight in high school was eating fries everyday for lunch with ranch or BBQ sauce.<br />
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It is very hard for me to resist once I am standing/sitting there. We use to go to a Red Robin where the fries are bottomless..I use to make sure I ordered something that came with bottomless fries even if I didn't care for that meal itself. We have stopped going there because the calories in any of the food just wasn't worth it to me.
I have not order fries since I last wrote about it. I did have a few from my husbands plate but I did not order my own. The good thing about skimming off my husbands plate is I only take 2 because I feel bad about eating his food.<br />
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I picked up a workout from Walmart that was 8.00 bucks that I have been wanting to buy since before I got pregnant only back then it was 20.00. It is Supreme 90 Day System. I previewed one of the first scheduled workout and it seems hard right now but definitely something that can be attained. Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-77551042737612574632012-12-27T14:03:00.001-08:002012-12-27T14:23:14.812-08:00French Fries GaloreWell a lot has changed since my last post. That post was written exactly 14 days before my son Isaiah decided to make debut to the world. I have been in baby mode since then. He is a great little boy almost 4 months old now. SO funny! He cracks me up many times a day. He is also going to be an active little boy it is clear to me that I better begin training for the baby Olympics or I will be left in this little guys dust. He is already rolling over so he can get to different things he wants to play with...so much energy!
So during the pregnancy as I mentioned previously I did not concern myself with losing weight(because your not suppose to). It was WONDERFUL!!! The first time in over 10 years that losing weight was not on my mind...it was peaceful. I didn't gain to much weight while pregnant under 30 pounds which was my goal. I know that sometimes pregnancy can get out of control and you can end up gaining the weight of an entire person. As I was already heavy I knew that I didn't want that to happen to me. After Isaiah was born I did lose the baby weight..most of it. I gained back about 8 pounds.
With the arrival of a new baby means LOTS of pictures being taken of him and me. Before baby I wasn't fond of having pictures take of me because I was fat. After the baby I was okay with it because first of all everyone is looking at the little cutie not me, secondly I just had a baby I was allowed to be "fluffy". But now things are changing. I don't want to be one of those people that 5 years from now says well it is baby weight....no, no it is not! It is not doing a thing about it weight. I have seen pictures of me from Christmas these are the most recent and I don't like what I see.
The time to change is upon me...
I have identified what most of my problems are: FOOD! I love food, and the worse for me the better...nachos, pizza, french fries. Anything bad for me I love. I have a serious problem with fried foods and since being pregnant also candy. Which I went many, many years without wanting candy and now it seems like every time I go into the store I want to buy some. It is becoming clear to me that my food habits are becoming a problem.
Don't get me wrong I love fruits and veggies. I often crave those things too, just not as much as the bad stuff.
My first order of business is NO more french fries! These are my addiction I will go out to eat just to get them. The stupid thing is that I don't even really like them. I think it is just the greasy, salty factor that gets me. So from this point forward no more fries. I realize that there will be times when I slip and can't control it but the ultimate goal is to get my eating on a more healthy track and claim back the health that is mine. I have dodged having any major health issues but during the pregnancy I had a look into the future of what it might be if I got Diabetes and I didn't like that at all..
Here we go...... Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-79284916106369191332012-08-16T20:42:00.000-07:002012-08-16T20:42:27.737-07:00Almost timeI haven't had a chance to get to the pool this week. Having 3 doctors appointments a week doesn't give me a lot of extra time. This bums me out because just walking around in the pool really helped with all the aches and pains. I will have to try to get there on non-appointment days. The only problem is that they close really early those days and I am not sure when their open for my type of swimming. It is a therapy pool so they often have people in there doing physical therapy.
That would be my dream job, working in the pool helping people with physical therapy. I love swimming and being in the water, and helping people. Seems like a win/win. I really wish I would have had better guidance in high school when it came to possible career choices. Who am I kidding though, I am almost 30 and still don't have a solid idea of what a good career would be. I do know that I don't want to be chained to a desk in a dark cubicle.
Everything is coming along good with the baby. We only have a few weeks left and it is all becoming so real to me. I am really proud of myself for not having gained 80 or 100lbs during this pregnancy. I don't know what I did that made a difference. I didn't go crazy with cravings or allow myself loads of junk food. I am hovering between a total weight gain of 23 to 25lbs. I will be able to take him out for a few walks after he is born before the weather turns rainy so that will be really nice.
Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-60449416646802228472012-08-09T23:48:00.003-07:002012-08-09T23:48:24.434-07:00Long TimeHard to believe it has been such a long time since I wrote. Well not really I forgot my password and every time I reset it, well I forget again. I blame this on pregnancy brain. I haven't been worrying about my weight at all this year which let me tell you has felt AMAZING!
Words can not describe what it feels like not to constantly be on myself for not working out or not losing that weight. I have been on a never ending "life style" change for the better part of 11 years now. So this is a welcome break for me.
Of course I have a little baby growing inside me well he is not so little I suppose he will be here in 4 weeks. So I have been being careful with actual weight gain from the pregnancy because I was already overweight when I got pregnant. So far I have only gained 23lbs which is pretty darn good. I had fears of gaining 80 or 100 on top of what I already weigh which would just be a disaster.
I have started thinking about post baby food and workouts now that the time is drawing near. I know I want to do things differently then I have in the past. I feel like a diet shouldn't consume my life. I look at people and they are so consumed with food, I ate half a piece of cheese today, but its is okay because I didn't eat anything else..Okay that is extreme but I think you get my point. They are so concerned with every piece of food they eat and if they slip up it sets them back for months. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to just eat healthy, make good choices and what happens happens. Maybe I will drop 90 pounds. Maybe I won't but I refuse to be consumed by food and body images anymore.
Of course having a new baby is going to encourage me to exercise more. I will be taking him for walks and as soon as he is up and moving be chasing after him. I don't want him to have a mom that just hangs out on the couch all the time. I want him to grow up and look back on his life and say wow mom and dad gave me a great life full of adventures and outdoor activities.
I am very excited about this new chapter in my life. I am scared but I know we will be okay.
This past year have been a huge eye opener in the fact that my life doesn't need to be consumed by diets, exercise and worrying if I would ever get to my goal weight.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-70021588449260339172011-09-20T02:24:00.000-07:002011-09-20T02:24:44.751-07:00Day 1 of 365I can safely say that I made it through today without over eating, without going to get fast food, without having soda. The only two types of drinks I had today were milk and water. I was VERY tempted today to eat fast food. We were out and about and I was really wanting to just stop and eat. But I didn't..we came home and made some Tuna sandwiches and had a small lunch. It was nice.
I am now dealing with a headache..lack of caffeine probably.
That is pretty much all that I have to report today. A friend came over and we watched the new seasons of How I Met Your Mother and Two and a Half Men. It was a nice night.
Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-26020830641027133002011-09-18T23:49:00.000-07:002011-09-18T23:56:21.122-07:0030 in 365Today was my 29th Birthday. It feels like the end of something, like the last chapter of my twenties. I am not super upset about growing older, it means I am that much wiser..right..right? Well I have decided that the best way for me to leave my twenties is trying to get healthy. The thing I have been "trying" to do for the last 10 years. To me it is more than just being thin, and being able to try something on and have it fit me good. It is about being able to go hiking with my friends, go on adventures. Go out and go dancing with my friends and not feel like everyone in the club is looking at me. <br /><br />I know that I am more then a fat lump, but to be honest most of the time that is all I feel like. <br /><br />I took a speech class recently as a required class and one thing we had to do was give everyone a compliment when they gave a speech. I LOVED that because everyone was so nice. The nicest thing was that someone told me that I was very charming and my smile is very captivating. Those words have stuck with me. Because I am slowing realizing that I am so much more. More then these negative words that I say to myself, more than the horrible body image I have. <br /><br />I am excited. <br /><br />I have taken a first step. I kicked off my birthday with a hike up a 4000 ft mountain. I figured I could go and get some free birthday dinner, or I could go out and hike my butt off. I chose the hiking my butt off. <br /><br />So today I celebrate first steps~Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-41592401209753359032011-08-12T22:28:00.000-07:002011-08-12T22:33:26.928-07:0010 yearsFirst off, HOW did 10 years pass without me noticing it? I have an online diary that I have written in for the last 10 years since I was 18 almost 19. I reread the first entry, I sounded like a teenager. It was slightly embarrassing because if I saw someone writing like that today I would be like get over it. But back then everything was super important and I was so grown up. :D What an idiot.
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<br />That doesn't matter though. What matters is that I am thinking about it and I am pretty much in the same position I was in 10 years ago. I am STILL in college although this time getting my bachelor degree and I did work before this. I don't own a home, I don' t have a great job, I don't have children. I have been with my husband for the last 10 years married for 3.
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<br />I feel disappointed that I have not done anything in the last ten years. Nothing worth noting anyway. Sad.
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<br />It makes me really want to strive for some new and exciting goals. I want to be able to write 10 years from now that I have done something or have something.
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<br />Ten years where does the time go. Really...think back about yourself 10 years ago where were you?Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-38614143621715143232011-06-17T23:57:00.000-07:002011-06-17T23:59:13.514-07:00First 5K!Tomorrow is the 5K my family and I are doing to honor our niece who passed away just shy of her 2nd birthday. I am excited! I have walked 5K on my own many times, I actually do it every time I go out to walk. But this time is different it is a RACE! I want to do good, but I have no even tried running in months, so I will have to go as fast as my little legs can carry me. According to my Nike+ I have done a 5K in 35 minutes but I don't know about that. We will see.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-249598098829249462011-05-28T18:01:00.000-07:002011-05-28T18:09:17.111-07:00SlippingI don't really want to clutter up this blog with feelings ( I have another place for that). I have been feeling super depressed lately. There are a lot of reasons: People are dying, hubby's dad is going down hill fast, we are having difficulties finding jobs, and on top of that my weight. <br /><br />The weather has been a real drag around here lately, making me not want to go out and walk. I tell myself that I will do some other exercise at home..but I never do. Which makes me get really down on myself.<br /><br />I don't know I just don't feel right. :-(<br /><br />Today I did get out and walk. I went and did 4.5 miles in an hour. It was very nice. I miss it. It makes me feel so good. I have this fear that IF I don't get my weight under control right now. It will just keep getting bigger and bigger. We really want to have a baby, in the near future. But I don't want to get pregnant at this size because I know what that means...I will be bigger.<br /><br />I am at the highest weight I have EVER been. 10 more pounds and I am at a weight I NEVER thought I would be close to. A weight that when you hear it you are like wow that is big. I am starting to look my weight now. Before I would weight 220 and people would think I was much lighter. I can't hide it anymore.<br /><br />I NEED this!!!Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2453845326787212224.post-51225449407162868022011-05-21T18:47:00.000-07:002011-05-21T18:54:28.528-07:00That is Chef StephanieI have been having a real blast lately with planning dinners. I get very bored of the same old thing. If I am having food that is healthy for me, I want it to be interesting and taste good. So every night I try to come up with something interesting to eat. Last night we had Sesame Asian Chicken, and red potatoes. It was delicious, I made the sauce myself. The night before that we had Marinated Portabello mushrooms, grilled green peppers, onion, and zucchini. It was really good. The husband didn't even mind that it wasn't steak lol. Tonight we are having Quinoa and Black Beans. I am hoping it will be good. <br /><br />I still have either sauteed spinach or just spinach salad drizzled in olive oil almost every night. I just love it that much. I have Greek yogurt almost everyday also in place of a dessert. I think I love that stuff to much lol. I just had it with some turkey meatballs, it was good (don't judge me lol).Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15124960543626329188noreply@blogger.com0