French Fries Galore

Well a lot has changed since my last post. That post was written exactly 14 days before my son Isaiah decided to make debut to the world. I have been in baby mode since then. He is a great little boy almost 4 months old now. SO funny! He cracks me up many times a day. He is also going to be an active little boy it is clear to me that I better begin training for the baby Olympics or I will be left in this little guys dust. He is already rolling over so he can get to different things he wants to play with...so much energy! So during the pregnancy as I mentioned previously I did not concern myself with losing weight(because your not suppose to). It was WONDERFUL!!! The first time in over 10 years that losing weight was not on my mind...it was peaceful. I didn't gain to much weight while pregnant under 30 pounds which was my goal. I know that sometimes pregnancy can get out of control and you can end up gaining the weight of an entire person. As I was already heavy I knew that I didn't want that to happen to me. After Isaiah was born I did lose the baby weight..most of it. I gained back about 8 pounds. With the arrival of a new baby means LOTS of pictures being taken of him and me. Before baby I wasn't fond of having pictures take of me because I was fat. After the baby I was okay with it because first of all everyone is looking at the little cutie not me, secondly I just had a baby I was allowed to be "fluffy". But now things are changing. I don't want to be one of those people that 5 years from now says well it is baby weight....no, no it is not! It is not doing a thing about it weight. I have seen pictures of me from Christmas these are the most recent and I don't like what I see. The time to change is upon me... I have identified what most of my problems are: FOOD! I love food, and the worse for me the better...nachos, pizza, french fries. Anything bad for me I love. I have a serious problem with fried foods and since being pregnant also candy. Which I went many, many years without wanting candy and now it seems like every time I go into the store I want to buy some. It is becoming clear to me that my food habits are becoming a problem. Don't get me wrong I love fruits and veggies. I often crave those things too, just not as much as the bad stuff. My first order of business is NO more french fries! These are my addiction I will go out to eat just to get them. The stupid thing is that I don't even really like them. I think it is just the greasy, salty factor that gets me. So from this point forward no more fries. I realize that there will be times when I slip and can't control it but the ultimate goal is to get my eating on a more healthy track and claim back the health that is mine. I have dodged having any major health issues but during the pregnancy I had a look into the future of what it might be if I got Diabetes and I didn't like that at all.. Here we go......

Almost time

I haven't had a chance to get to the pool this week. Having 3 doctors appointments a week doesn't give me a lot of extra time. This bums me out because just walking around in the pool really helped with all the aches and pains. I will have to try to get there on non-appointment days. The only problem is that they close really early those days and I am not sure when their open for my type of swimming. It is a therapy pool so they often have people in there doing physical therapy. That would be my dream job, working in the pool helping people with physical therapy. I love swimming and being in the water, and helping people. Seems like a win/win. I really wish I would have had better guidance in high school when it came to possible career choices. Who am I kidding though, I am almost 30 and still don't have a solid idea of what a good career would be. I do know that I don't want to be chained to a desk in a dark cubicle. Everything is coming along good with the baby. We only have a few weeks left and it is all becoming so real to me. I am really proud of myself for not having gained 80 or 100lbs during this pregnancy. I don't know what I did that made a difference. I didn't go crazy with cravings or allow myself loads of junk food. I am hovering between a total weight gain of 23 to 25lbs. I will be able to take him out for a few walks after he is born before the weather turns rainy so that will be really nice.

Long Time

Hard to believe it has been such a long time since I wrote. Well not really I forgot my password and every time I reset it, well I forget again. I blame this on pregnancy brain. I haven't been worrying about my weight at all this year which let me tell you has felt AMAZING! Words can not describe what it feels like not to constantly be on myself for not working out or not losing that weight. I have been on a never ending "life style" change for the better part of 11 years now. So this is a welcome break for me. Of course I have a little baby growing inside me well he is not so little I suppose he will be here in 4 weeks. So I have been being careful with actual weight gain from the pregnancy because I was already overweight when I got pregnant. So far I have only gained 23lbs which is pretty darn good. I had fears of gaining 80 or 100 on top of what I already weigh which would just be a disaster. I have started thinking about post baby food and workouts now that the time is drawing near. I know I want to do things differently then I have in the past. I feel like a diet shouldn't consume my life. I look at people and they are so consumed with food, I ate half a piece of cheese today, but its is okay because I didn't eat anything else..Okay that is extreme but I think you get my point. They are so concerned with every piece of food they eat and if they slip up it sets them back for months. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to just eat healthy, make good choices and what happens happens. Maybe I will drop 90 pounds. Maybe I won't but I refuse to be consumed by food and body images anymore. Of course having a new baby is going to encourage me to exercise more. I will be taking him for walks and as soon as he is up and moving be chasing after him. I don't want him to have a mom that just hangs out on the couch all the time. I want him to grow up and look back on his life and say wow mom and dad gave me a great life full of adventures and outdoor activities. I am very excited about this new chapter in my life. I am scared but I know we will be okay. This past year have been a huge eye opener in the fact that my life doesn't need to be consumed by diets, exercise and worrying if I would ever get to my goal weight.

Day 1 of 365

I can safely say that I made it through today without over eating, without going to get fast food, without having soda. The only two types of drinks I had today were milk and water. I was VERY tempted today to eat fast food. We were out and about and I was really wanting to just stop and eat. But I didn't..we came home and made some Tuna sandwiches and had a small lunch. It was nice. I am now dealing with a headache..lack of caffeine probably. That is pretty much all that I have to report today. A friend came over and we watched the new seasons of How I Met Your Mother and Two and a Half Men. It was a nice night.

30 in 365

Today was my 29th Birthday. It feels like the end of something, like the last chapter of my twenties. I am not super upset about growing older, it means I am that much wiser..right..right? Well I have decided that the best way for me to leave my twenties is trying to get healthy. The thing I have been "trying" to do for the last 10 years. To me it is more than just being thin, and being able to try something on and have it fit me good. It is about being able to go hiking with my friends, go on adventures. Go out and go dancing with my friends and not feel like everyone in the club is looking at me.

I know that I am more then a fat lump, but to be honest most of the time that is all I feel like.

I took a speech class recently as a required class and one thing we had to do was give everyone a compliment when they gave a speech. I LOVED that because everyone was so nice. The nicest thing was that someone told me that I was very charming and my smile is very captivating. Those words have stuck with me. Because I am slowing realizing that I am so much more. More then these negative words that I say to myself, more than the horrible body image I have.

I am excited.

I have taken a first step. I kicked off my birthday with a hike up a 4000 ft mountain. I figured I could go and get some free birthday dinner, or I could go out and hike my butt off. I chose the hiking my butt off.

So today I celebrate first steps~

10 years

First off, HOW did 10 years pass without me noticing it? I have an online diary that I have written in for the last 10 years since I was 18 almost 19. I reread the first entry, I sounded like a teenager. It was slightly embarrassing because if I saw someone writing like that today I would be like get over it. But back then everything was super important and I was so grown up. :D What an idiot.

That doesn't matter though. What matters is that I am thinking about it and I am pretty much in the same position I was in 10 years ago. I am STILL in college although this time getting my bachelor degree and I did work before this. I don't own a home, I don' t have a great job, I don't have children. I have been with my husband for the last 10 years married for 3.

I feel disappointed that I have not done anything in the last ten years. Nothing worth noting anyway. Sad.

It makes me really want to strive for some new and exciting goals. I want to be able to write 10 years from now that I have done something or have something.

Ten years where does the time go. Really...think back about yourself 10 years ago where were you?

First 5K!

Tomorrow is the 5K my family and I are doing to honor our niece who passed away just shy of her 2nd birthday. I am excited! I have walked 5K on my own many times, I actually do it every time I go out to walk. But this time is different it is a RACE! I want to do good, but I have no even tried running in months, so I will have to go as fast as my little legs can carry me. According to my Nike+ I have done a 5K in 35 minutes but I don't know about that. We will see.