I Can Run

I want to run! I sometimes get this overwhelming urge to just take off at a super fast run, run as hard and fast as I can. But I don't...I was always very athletic but never a runner. As I got bigger the mental block I had about running got bigger and bigger as my weight got bigger and bigger. In the past I would jog and get so out of breath or self conscious that I would mental just shut down. "Oh I can't do I need to stop" 10 steps later I was done. Feeling really shitty and lazy. This has gone on longer then I can even remember.

I don't know why today was any different. I went out for a walk because I was really pissed I couldn't find my bike helmet to start riding my bike again. So I went for a walk so I didn't tear the house apart looking for it.

I walked a bit then decided what the heck lets try some sprints no one is around. So I did a few lite jogging sprints. I loved it. So every time no one could see I would just take off at a dead run like a kid who was going out to recess. Then when someone came around I would stop. Soon I realized that I was beet red and huffing and puffing. These people must be thinking "Wow that girl is so out of shape she can't even walk up these hills!" Well me being a crazy person I just couldn't have that. So instead of hiding my running from people, when I came in view of them I just took off and ran as fast I could.

You know what I found out? I can run a helluva lot further and faster then I could have ever imagined. It was awesome!

I ended up doing 3.2 miles. 

Ask for help

I need help...I don't understand why these words are so hard for me to say. In almost every aspect of my life I have a hard time asking for help. When my son was born and I was recovering from a horrible infection and surgery I had a hard time asking for help. When I was in school again I had a hard time asking for help. When I needed help with finances I didn't ask for help. Right now, I need help with my weight loss and I still didn't ask for help.

I am not sure what it is about me that makes me this way. I will try a million different ways to do something before I ask for help. I am not sure if it was something that goes back to when I was younger or not. I guess that will always be a mystery.

Most people don't know this and it takes a LOT to admit this. But I am a failure when it comes to the one goal I have been working on for so long. Losing Weight.

I am everyone's biggest cheerleader and support system. I've seen many of my friends and weight loss buddies lose weight and reach their goals, but not me. I have the knowledge I need to do it. I know exactly what it takes. But for some reason when it comes to actually going through with it I just can't do it.

Finally I have decided to reach out and ask for help. My sister is dating someone who is getting a Masters degree in basically what amounts to just what I need.  So I finally just put it all out there and asked for help. What I have been doing, what I want to have happen all of it. I am hoping this is just the motivation that I need to get to my goal.

When I was young I was so very active. It was nothing for me to spend a few hours at basketball practice and then go and ride my bike for 6 miles ( up hills). I miss that person and want to be the adult version of her again. I don't want to live my life always sitting in the parking lot while everyone else goes and hikes up a crazy steep hill, or say no thanks because I am worried I might be to heavy to do a particular activity.

What Message Are We Sending?

I have been on this "get healthy" journey for many years. Why many years you ask well because even thought I know exactly what I need to be doing..I am not very good at following through. I am working on that thought. I had a lot of emotional issues that I needed to work through and I think I am doing a good job with all of those. I am finding a healthy balance between food and activity. I know some people have to be all or nothing and I don't want that to be me.

Today I saw something that got me thinking. Now in the beginning it didn't seem terrible to me, and to be honestly it doesn't still it just seems a bit sad I think. First let me just say I am 100% for being healthy, knowing your limits and also if you want to drink your meals go for it.

So here is what I saw we were out eating as a family which we do one time a week. I watched a couple my age come in and they had two small daughter. The father and daughters all got food to eat. The mom only had a glass of water and her green smoothie. Which we all know are healthy and not bad for you but that isn't what I am getting at. At first I was like Wow it takes real self control to be here and not eat.

Then I got to thinking more about what kind of message she was sending her young daughters. She was telling that them the food she was letting them have wasn't good and that she wasn't eating it. This I feel like will lead to them being cautious of food very early on which isn't bad, food education is a great idea. But when you are sitting there drinking your meal while they eat. I just got visions of the things we use to do in high school when we "dieted" we would only drink liquids, skip meals it set us up for a whole mess of problems later on. I remember watching my mom diet when I was a kid and she was eating healthy food and doing it in healthy ways but it STILL made me overly aware of size, weight and all of that at a very young age. I had body image issues when I was in second grade and just so you know my mom has NO idea. No idea that seeing her worry about her body so much caused that. So I was thinking about what these girls might think about their mom only drinking her dinner. Not that what she was drinking was bad but she could have easily ordered something healthy and clean to eat at the restaurant.

I guess the point of this whole writing is; do we really know the message we are sending to our kids? We are trying to be healthy but maybe we read a label and say Oh this has to many calories and suddenly you have a 8 year old refusing to eat cereal because it has to many calories( true story a girl refused her cereal because it had 110 calories). These kids aren't old enough to understand it like we do as adults. What they see is 100 and think that is a lot, or they see mom not eating and think it must be best not to eat. And no matter how much we think we are hiding these things we aren't.

Again so I don't get hate notes I don't think there is anything wrong with having shakes, or counting calories.

Workout ADD

I love to workout. I love the feeling I get when I am sweating my butt off and I love the feeling I get after a workout. I feel accomplished, I feel slightly tired and I just feel so good. I have more workout dvd's then one person should really have. But still I find that I get bored easily. I have found my new best friend when it comes to workouts. YouTube!! There are so many workout on there that you just put in what you feel like doing and there is likely a workout for it. It is completely awesome for someone like me!!

Lets talk about food a little bit. Tonight I made the BEST dinner ever. We have these salmon fillets and they tasted kinda gross when I was just steaming them. So tonight I was just trying to get ride of them. I mixed tomato sauce and paste with some clams and made a sauce. Seasoned it with garlic and chipotle pepper. Then I topped my salmon with it and YUM!! I keep experimenting with food to find healthy versions of things that just taste amazing. My snack tonight was peanut butter with cocoa it was similar to candy so that is a win for me.

Self-Confidence

When I was a teenager for a brief moment I had a lot of self-confidence. I was thin, pretty and got along great with everyone. I really honestly wish I could pin-point the moment that all changed. Well maybe it was when I was talking to a guy online I weighed probably 150 and I was 5'6 he told me I looked fat. Maybe that was it..I honestly don't know when it could have happened. But I can tell you that after it did I started taking notice of comments like you are fat, or you need to lose weight, or are you eating that. Recently I started talking to my sister about my weight problems and she said well it is no wonder you use to cook eggs and toast in the middle of the night...I had no memory of that. None at all! I do know that binge eating especially at night was a problem for me for a very long time.

But slowly I started to lack self confidence. I would not wear shorts my legs were to white, to lumpy, to short, to fat whatever reason I had I would sit in the heat of summer wearing pants. Then in adulthood I discovered capri's which became a staple in my closet for years. I only started wearing shorts when I was pregnant because lets be honest what kind of jerk will make fun of a pregnant lady. I think it comes down to the fact that I don't want to be made fun of.

I am always looking at my fat rolls, my fat stomach. I hate my stomach..I have always looked pregnant even when I wasn't. I have a very muscular frame so I pack on weight but I can carry it well. Most people would be shocked to know my actual weight because I carry it well.

So I need to work on my self confidence. My husband doesn't understand why I had this self hate for all these years. I don't either. But I do know that I am starting to find things about me that I love. I love my eyes. I love my skin, my nose. I will work on loving the rest of me, slowly. But I will get there.

Today I wore shorts out in public, I wasn't embarrassed and I didn't care what anyone thought of me. How about a little cheer for progress!!

Just a Quickie

For some reason I felt the need to delete all entries except from the last few days. But me being me I couldn't delete them so I made them unavailable. I am sick of looking back at the person who kept failing. I know that those experiences have given me the knowledge and will to be where I am today, but I feel like it is living in the past a bit. Every start over, every oh Monday. To me it feels a bit like cleaning out your closet and getting rid of all that junk. It feels good.

Today was another hot one here. Nothing like they are getting in Arizona but hot for here. Due to my little boy getting sick yesterday from the heat I was a cautious mama and didn't go out and do anything crazy. I am still well within my exercise every 3 days rule so its all good.

The more I learn about living a healthy lifestyle the more it feels like a game of the mind rather then body. If you can get your mind to cooperate then your body will too.

It is late and I need my beauty sleep.

When are you due?

Dreaded fat person questions. Here is a piece of advice. Unless you are absolutely, positively with out a doubt sure a woman is pregnant..don't ask! I don't care how curious you are. Have you heard the saying, curiosity killed the cat? Well guess what the fat lady killed the curious question people. :)

Today a well-meaning elderly couple asked me when I was due...while I was holding my 10 month old son. I admit that any extra weight on me goes to my stomach area and I look pregnant. In the past this would have triggered a WHOLE mess of things, emotional eating, pity party, self-consciousness kicking into full gear just to name a few. I never know what to say in that situation that doesn't make it worse, so I just kinda ignored it and said no, one is enough right now. It took them a while to get it. I admit I threw a pity party for about 5 minutes then I let it go. I continued on to my mom's house and saw a large plate of cookies, bags of chips, lets just say a emotional/binge eaters dream. I looked at it and grabbed some fruit. I thought about things and decided who cares if they or anyone else thinks I look pregnant because I have come a long way so far, I am not done with my journey so I won't let that set me back or even worse derail me completely. This mental thinking as been a LONG time in the making to be able to deal with this in a healthy way. So if you can't yet..don't worry you will.

Where I come from

I have sat down and wrote this about me many times. Why? I don’t know, over the last 13 years I have written it so many times I almost have it memorized. I always think back to that girl in second grade and if I could talk to her now I would tell her “you are not fat!”

Yes, you read that right my eating issues started back in second grade. There wasn’t a particular event that triggered it. No one called me fat; no one made fun of me. What I do remember was my best friend. She was a small petite girl (still is). I just remember standing next to her and being bigger then her. I was taller than her, but in a second graders mind that meant I was bigger and I must have been fatter. This was far from the truth because as an adult I see pictures of myself back then and I was a skinny kid all legs. But from that moment on I wouldn’t share clothes with friends because I was worried they wouldn’t fit. I would be worried about playing in things like tunnels because I didn’t want to get stuck. 

Fast forward to about 7^th grade, I still had those view of being fat. I also got braces that year which added to my self confidence issues. I was never an ugly person. I never got made fun of, I was actually pretty popular. So with the braces I ended up not eating lunch at school because I didn’t want to get food stuck in my teeth. I didn’t have time to brush afterward before class. So I didn’t eat lunch…I also didn’t eat breakfast.  I was also in Basketball and when I wasn’t practicing or playing games, I was exercising. Riding my bike 6 miles at a time, step aerobics, any kind of cardio I could think of...again I don’t really know why. I wouldn’t say I intentionally had an eating disorder because I wasn’t trying to starve.  I didn’t eat for the reasons I explained and I exercised because I liked it. 

I also remember during that time period I was very tired. I slept all the time. Looking back now it was clearly because I was starving. I was burning all these calories and not taking enough in. My neck was thinner then my forearm is now. Yet no one said anything. I would say it was mostly due to being naïve. I was naïve about the situation...I didn’t know anything about calories and exercise or how they worked and it would be YEARS before I fully understood the concept of your body needs a certain number of calories to function.  To just breathe, pump blood, run your nervous system you need a base number of calories...this would be why when people starve their bodies shut down I suppose.

I didn’t know it then but that naïve teenager set herself up for years of weight gain, weight loss, emotional eating, bingeing, slow metabolism and sometimes I honestly felt like I just wanted to give up and be fat forever. 

My attempts at weight loss in the past were let us be honest here; they were half-assed. In the beginning it was because I just didn’t have the knowledge to make good decisions. If there was a new diet I was on it because it promised me that which I wanted most….to be thin. 

Over the course of the years I educated myself on calories, proper nutrition and exercise. I learned the correct ways to lose weight. I learned that there is no quick way to lose weight. I learned that this is not a sprint where I can do well for a week and see results the next day. It is a marathon where I need to constantly be taking steps in the right direction and eventually my efforts will pay off. 

Of course knowing what I need to do and actually doing it are two different things. Even when I had all this knowledge I couldn’t maintain my motivation for any length of time because like everyone else I wanted instant gratification. If I ate well and exercised I wanted to see the results immediately. This mind set got me to start and stop my healthy lifestyle more than I can count. It also helped me gain 100lbs. Yes that is right I went from being a very active child and teenager to a 100lb over weight adult. This has been my life for the last 13 years. 

It seemed like I was always starting, always trying again, always waiting until Monday to start. Even with all the knowledge I had I still made bad food choices; I also chose not to workout.  I was full of excuses of why I couldn’t stick with it. Why I would never lose weight, why it was impossible that something was wrong with me. I even put off major things in my life because of my weight; .I put off having a child, I put off getting a degree in my dream field because who would take me serious if I was fat. I even worked at Curves for a while helping other people reach their fitness goals…yet I could never reach mine. I always wondered if my before pictures would ever have after pictures next to them. If people would ever say this is Stephanie she lost 100 lbs doesn’t she look great, or if I would be someone’s motivation. 

Somewhere in the last 13 years I became an emotional eater. At one point I begged my husband to help me. I said please help me, help me stop. At this point I would find myself just binge eating all night long. When I begged him he looked at me and said he had no idea I was eating that much…I had been sneaky about it. Emotional eating was very hard to overcome and still is a huge battle for me.  Let me tell you on a day that is extra hard I want nothing more than to just bury my head in the cupboard and eat everything in there. But I don’t, I’ve found other things to do. When I am stressed I workout, I browse the internet for fitness information and drink a warm cup of tea. Since I have a 10 month old sometimes I tell my husband to watch him and I lock myself in the bathroom and take a long warm bath. Bottom line I stay away from food. It takes practice to recognize when emotional eating is happening. I have figured that out with myself and each person has to figure it out for themselves…no one can do it for you. 

Not only am I an emotional eater but I LOVE food. I have a serious addiction to food. I love tasting new dishes and eating things that I have had a million times because they taste good. So I had to change the things that I love. I have picked healthy foods to love. I am a firm believer that everything should be in moderation. Food should NOT be the enemy, extremely limiting food groups is a huge disaster because for me if I tell myself I can NEVER, ever, ever have chocolate again…then I am going to really want it and drive myself bonkers until I have it.  Rather if I feel like having chocolate I have it. I don’t have it every day and I pick small sizes. Same with anything I eat that can’t be revamped into a healthy alternative. I realize this is a tricky thing to accomplish it took me many years to be able to indulge in certain foods and not completely go ballistic and eat huge portions.

Today I have dropped the excuses and about 30lbs. I have a LONG way to go, clearly. My mindset has changed. In the last two years I went through one of the darkest, most depressing times of my life. There was a death of a very close family member and loss of everything jobs, homes everything, the economy was not good to my family. But in that two years I learned something, no matter how horrible the situation there is a point when it turns around. I could sit and let my life pass me by; be the fat mom, the fat wife and never be happy. Or I could stop with the pity party and get my butt in gear. When I found out I was pregnant it was then that I knew for certain I would change. I never, ever want my kids to worry about being fat or overweight. Or get picked on for having a fat mom. I wanted to play with them and enjoy life with them. I need to be their example. Even though the tough times kept coming and still keep coming I just know that I can’t let my life stop because of them. Sometimes I feel like that character in the movie in the bullet proof vest that is getting pounded with bullets yet they still stand and push forward. This is my new mantra, just keep going. I can’t sit and wallow in it and feel bad. I let myself have those emotions but I have them when I am sweating my butt off working out. 

I am nowhere near my goal. I don’t think I will be there anytime soon and I am finally okay with that. I keep going; every step I take in the right direction is a step toward my goal. I know it won’t happen overnight and it won’t be quick but this is my life and I am changing my lifestyle for the long run.

Here is to being healthy for the future.

Lacking in the blogging department

I haven't meant to slack off on my blogging. But you know what having a baby is hard work! I thought that I would have more time as he got more mobile and needed me every second. WRONG!! Now I am constantly chasing him around and saying don't eat that or stop biting the cat. I rarely have a moment to write down my thoughts on my diary let alone here. I will try though. He is almost 10 months old now..I can't believe it.

I have still been on my get healthy track. Remember I took 9 months off..hehe it was sure nice not to have to think about the pressures of gaining weight or looking fat. But alas I can't be pregnant forever nor would I want to be.

I found an amazing group of women who are turning into a really great support system. I just love it so much. They have inspired me in so many ways. Give me that extra motivation when I can't find it on my own. I have also decided to go with my gut and follow the career path I have been wanting to take for years. Public Health Education: Physical Activities/Exercise. I put it off because I was overweight. I still am but I am sick of putting off my dreams and life because of this weight. I am ready to work hard to get where I want to go.

I have a new look on life and weight loss. It isn't a sprint I can't expect to eat really well and workout and be skinny the next day (but lord knows I would love that). It is more like a marathon. You have to eat right and exercise for the long haul and you will get where your going. I make it a point to go no more then 3 days without exercising. Youtube has become my best friend. I get VERY bored with workouts so I need to be able to hop on there and say okay I feel like cardio today..and find something new. Its great.

I really promise to write more if my boy will let me.

Happy New Year!

The new year was not so happy around my house. We rang in the New Year with friends and then no more then 6 hours into the New Year this momma got sick! Not just the regular sick but the lovely Norovirus sick. I swear I never get sick but when I do it is bad. While I was sick my husband took care of the baby which didn't go well considering baby wanted Momma who couldn't come near him and so he decided to scream most of the time. After the initial sickness it took several days to recover, however my husband ended up getting it a day after I did. So baby went to Grandmas for a day and then I was back to taking care of him even though I was feeling only about 75% better. Husband and I are on the mend and we are crossing our fingers that baby doesn't get this sickness.

So as you can see my idea to start my way to a healthier me has been postponed. I am getting myself geared up again to get this thing going. I have to...my sister announced her wedding will be April 6, 2013...WHAT! 3 months to look super hot...crap! I will do my best and definitely be giving my 90 day Supreme workout a go. The reason they gave such short notice is that they both work in the Hotel industry he is a head chef and she works in sales. So they barely ever get any time off except during the off season. So it was either do it now or wait another year which she wasn't going to do.

So we have the dress, we need a cake, and photographer. Should be easy enough....

The good news about the damn sickness is that it was like a reset for my body. I can't drink soda anymore it disgusts me. I am so afraid of eating the wrong food and getting sick that I just don't eat a ton of food and just eat when I am hungry and make sure it is bland and not greasy. So I guess have a bright side to being sick.

Here I go...I plan on doing my workout tonight I will let you know how it goes.

Slipping

I don't really want to clutter up this blog with feelings ( I have another place for that). I have been feeling super depressed lately. There are a lot of reasons: People are dying, hubby's dad is going down hill fast, we are having difficulties finding jobs, and on top of that my weight.

The weather has been a real drag around here lately, making me not want to go out and walk. I tell myself that I will do some other exercise at home..but I never do. Which makes me get really down on myself.

I don't know I just don't feel right. :-(

Today I did get out and walk. I went and did 4.5 miles in an hour. It was very nice. I miss it. It makes me feel so good. I have this fear that IF I don't get my weight under control right now. It will just keep getting bigger and bigger. We really want to have a baby, in the near future. But I don't want to get pregnant at this size because I know what that means...I will be bigger.

I am at the highest weight I have EVER been. 10 more pounds and I am at a weight I NEVER thought I would be close to. A weight that when you hear it you are like wow that is big. I am starting to look my weight now. Before I would weight 220 and people would think I was much lighter. I can't hide it anymore.

I NEED this!!!

My next 30 years

One and a half years and I will be 30. That really isn't the point of this entry, age doesn't really bother me as much as I think it does some people. The point of this entry it what I want.

I want to be healthy and fit by the time that birthday rolls around. I have spent nearly all my 20's chasing that goal. Mostly in half-ass attempts which have resulted in well...nothing.

Looking at a clothing catalog the other day this hit me. I was looking at the trendy clothes and really wanted to be able to just order everything that I thought was cute. To bad I can't, because EVEN if they had my size I can 100% guarantee it will not look like it does on those models on me...or even close to that. It will be all lumpy and stretched out and just look like a bag of potatoes wearing something cute.

So I want to be able to buy clothes that are cute and of course age appropriate for me. I don't need to go wearing something that a 21 year old would wear. But I want the world to see the real me. Not the me that hides behind, tshirts, jeans and sweatshirts/hoodies and jackets.

Here I come!!!!

On a side note, I did Wii Zumba last night. It was fun and it got my heart pumping. I missed probably 80% of the steps but I kept moving. I figured that the steps will come later. Some of the dance moves are AWESOME!! You feel like your out shaking your butt at a club. But the best part is NO one is there to watch you look like an idiot.

Well that is all for now.

Happy Mother's Day to the mom's out there.

Cycling Podcasts??

Well, I have been doing okay. I decided I need to start working out. To bad the weather has decided it will not support me walking/jogging outside yet. (Stupid Rain). So I am going to have to just do my own thing. Probably bust one some of the millions of DVD's I have for working out. Use the Wii Fit again. Something to get myself back in the swing again. I have the exercise bike and the rowing machine I could probably utilize as well.

Do you know what I REALLY want..I want a spinning type workout that I can listen to on my Ipod. That won't cost me a fortune to use. I found a free one from Motion Traxx I think it is. But they only have the one. It is perfect and amazing and just a butt kickin' workout..but to be honest since it is the only one of its kind out there I get a little bored with it. I mean you can only go up the same hills so many times lol.

I would just LOVE LOVE LOVE it if someone would make some more of these things. Maybe I should try to find some good interval training things with good music.

That is my little life in a nutshell..How is everyone else doing?

Pity Party is Over

I appreciate the comments on my last entry. It was just a really bad time for me and I was feeling down and in the dumps, then I go and try on clothes and it just makes it even worse.

In the end there is no magic little person who can take my hand and lead me down the path to thindom. I know this, you know this, we all know this. But sometimes I just WISH it wasn't so.

In the end the only one that can take me where I need and want to be in me. I am the driver, and planner of that trip. I decide when I move smoothly along that path, I also decide when I will take detours, breaks or choose the bumpiest most pot-filled road. These are all things I choose. And when I am not eating right and not feeling successful those are my choices also. It is me..

I have been trying very hard to find foods that I like. And incorporate them into my daily eating lifestyle. In the past I eaten yogurt both greek and regular ( watch the sugar and calories). I also like fruits and veggies. Breakfast not my greatest time of the day..I HATE HATE HATE oatmeal, I will never like it and that is the end of story. So I try to eat something like Cheerios from Target ( NO sugar whatsoever in them). Or I will have Shredded Wheat. I have been using Whole Wheat Pita's for sandwiches either with feta cheese and Tzatiki (sp) or Roast Beef and Gouda ( with no mayo).

My new favorite thing and let me just say it might gross some out but you have to understand I have LOVED spinach since I was a kid, use to eat it all the time.

So my new favorite thing is sauteed spinach with olive oil, garlic, and sometimes mushrooms. It is so yummy I just love it. Obviously use the fresh baby spinach not the mushy can stuff ( which I love lol).

Small steps. I know I will not be thin over night..actually I may never be thin, but I can make sure I am eating healthy and exercising for a healthy me.

Finally Me Time!!!

I am on spring break as soon as I finish up my Economics class. Which will hopefully be tomorrow. I am so excited to have some time to myself away from school work and distractions. This is the first time I have been in a good place with diet and exercise and I have the chance to just focus on that for the next 2 weeks. That is awesome to me, I really can't wait. I am going to exercise and eat right and just take care of myself. I am about 4 lbs down and 4 to go in the next 2ish weeks. I will have met my 8 lbs a month goal if that happens. Which would put me right on track.

I know that this month might be easier and show a larger weight loss then months to come but I am excited anyway. I have my end goal in mind and I plan on making it there. I can't explain it but my attitude on this whole thing has changed and is very different to me then the last few times.

Thank You Oregon...

For not raining today. I was able to get out and go walking. I decided to go to a place I have never been before but wanted to check out. It was pretty nice but almost to short for my kind of walking. It was down by the river and wow that river was really high and just running like crazy. But I managed to do about 2.5 miles, with a lot of back tracking and circling back. So it worked. I then went to another spot and finished off my workout at a total of 3.4 miles. Not bad! I am hoping to get back up to my 5-7 miles every few days kinda walking.

I am not sure that I mentioned and it is kind of embarrassing and shows off my nerdy side. But I got out all my exercise equipment and set it up in a corner of the house..which we now officially call Club Stephanie!! HAAHAHA I am such a nerd. I told my husband that he could come to my club but he would need a membership first lol.

So the eating has been going fantastic. I haven't craved fast food, or greasy gross food in about 3 weeks now. AMAZING!! Since that was what I always wanted. And this eating every three hours is keeping me from binging which was also another big problem. I find myself at times wanting to snack and roam the kitchen..but I sit back and say just wait you can eat in blank blank hours/minutes whatever it is. And you know what by the time that I CAN eat the stuff I don't want it and find something better for me.

I am going to lose 50 lbs by my Birthday..it won't be easy but I think it is completely do-able.

Inside Out Method

I decided to pick up some workout DVD's. I got the Bob Harper inside out method workouts: Strength, Cardio and Yoga. So far I have done strength and yoga. Tonight I am going to do cardio. I feel the need to review these DVD's.

Inside Out Method Strength



This comes with 25 minutes (beginner) and an hour harder workout. I have only done the 25 minute workout because I didn't want to start to much to soon. I put the workout in and I was worried that it would be to hard to do. It was perfect, the perfect workout for a beginner. As I was doing it I felt like it was just challenging enough. At the end of the workout I wasn't to sore but the next day I could totally feel that I had worked out.

Inside Out Method Yoga



In my head I thought this was going to be the regular run of the mill "low sweat" yoga that I am use to. I should have known when I put the dvd in and there was no 25 minute beginner workout. :) I start the workout and Bob says, "THIS will be like NO other yoga workout you have ever done." YIKES!!!!!!!!! It was a good workout and pretty difficult, the people on the dvd were sweating really hard. It was a great workout and I feel it today.

I am nowhere near athletic but these workouts were do able for me. I had to pause on some stuff and modify other things (mostly in the yoga). But after I finished I didn't feel like a failure because I couldn't do it all.

Totally recommend these workouts.

Tonight I am going to make steak and veggies for our Valentines day dinner. It seems better to just stay in and have a nice dinner rather then go out and eat some over priced meal I won't really enjoy.


This is the BEST thing I have ever owned. A rice cooker, steamer, tons of other things. I love just putting some brown rice in the cooker, throwing some fish on top and letting it cook. I literally don't have to do anything. Its perfect. The fish comes out so delicious. I highly recommend this machine.

New Year, New Me??

That is the plan...but then again that has always been the plan. For a least the last 6 new years. I don't make resolutions I just don't because it seems silly to me to wait for a new year to make a big plan only to fail a month later and then wait other 10 months to make that resolution again.

I am going to make every day my new day. I was thinking about buying myself a elliptical machine. And then when I got that I would start working out...after thinking about it for a while DO YOU REALIZE HOW RIDICULOUS THAT SOUNDS!!! I was going to not try to lose weight until I got that. I was doing it again. So I am NOT getting one. I have enough exercise equipment, Wii system and dvd's plus weights to lose as much weight as I want to...I don't need to add more to it I need to really use what I have for once. The money I save will be used to buy good foods for me and perhaps good cookbooks. I also might see how much my school would charge to let me use their pool. I think its about 12 dollars for the term but you can only use it at certain times.

So here I go..