Confessions of a Foodie

I wasn't going to write about this. I know that I don't have to either. I can just not put it in print and then no one will now that I had a setback. Why do I feel like all of a sudden I am in a confessional. Father...I have sinned...

Well I have not done a great job at eating the last few days. As I told you I had a horrible sickness that passed. I honestly couldn't even stomach foods that I normally want to eat (still can't drink soda). So I thought I was in the clear, thought it would be easy..hey my body will do this work for me, it won't let me eat any of that stuff.

Then I started down that slippery slope...I went out with my sister and her friend on Friday after a day of looking for wedding dresses. We went to Red Robin not my favorite place..so I was okay. They have bottomless fries you know....I bet you can see where this is headed. Not just yet hold on for a moment. So at Red Robin I knew fries are my crack so I didn't order any...SAY WHAT!? You love french fries and you didn't order any?? Yep! But don't break out the trophy just yet. So I get a small cup of tortilla soup (high calorie I am sure) and a Turkey sandwich with water. Felt pretty darn good about that one. The next night we went to my parents house for second Christmas with my sister. So I hate pretty healthy there..no seriously I did. Then there was a bit of drama that I am not going to get into which resulted in us going out to dinner on Sunday night to Famous Daves BBQ. I got 4 sliders, I called them a variety pack of sandwiches because they are 4 of the most popular sandwiches there and I got mashed potatoes...no french fries yeah me!

Until tonight.....
We were out and about and my husband asked me where I wanted to go. I left it up to him it was between a place called Wok Inn and Red Robin...Wok Inn is a buffet but you get fresh meats, veggies and all that so it isn't to bad I never over eat there. BUT he let me choose between the two places...I picked Red Robin...Yes the place that I don't really even like. I got a burger that wasn't very good and french fries...I don't even know why..well I think I do actually. I think this has been festering inside me since the last time I was there when I didn't order them. So I got my crack...it took my 3 days but I got it. I feel just awful about it. Clearly this is a problem. It wasn't even like I was craving french fries. It wasn't on my mind. So I don't know what the heck happened. Maybe I should start a thing where I am x days free of french fries.

So like I said I didn't have to write about this I could have pretended it never happened. But it did and by pretending it never happened I would be in the same situation every other time.

Day 7 of the new year Day 0 French Fry free..

Happy New Year!

The new year was not so happy around my house. We rang in the New Year with friends and then no more then 6 hours into the New Year this momma got sick! Not just the regular sick but the lovely Norovirus sick. I swear I never get sick but when I do it is bad. While I was sick my husband took care of the baby which didn't go well considering baby wanted Momma who couldn't come near him and so he decided to scream most of the time. After the initial sickness it took several days to recover, however my husband ended up getting it a day after I did. So baby went to Grandmas for a day and then I was back to taking care of him even though I was feeling only about 75% better. Husband and I are on the mend and we are crossing our fingers that baby doesn't get this sickness.

So as you can see my idea to start my way to a healthier me has been postponed. I am getting myself geared up again to get this thing going. I have to...my sister announced her wedding will be April 6, 2013...WHAT! 3 months to look super hot...crap! I will do my best and definitely be giving my 90 day Supreme workout a go. The reason they gave such short notice is that they both work in the Hotel industry he is a head chef and she works in sales. So they barely ever get any time off except during the off season. So it was either do it now or wait another year which she wasn't going to do.

So we have the dress, we need a cake, and photographer. Should be easy enough....

The good news about the damn sickness is that it was like a reset for my body. I can't drink soda anymore it disgusts me. I am so afraid of eating the wrong food and getting sick that I just don't eat a ton of food and just eat when I am hungry and make sure it is bland and not greasy. So I guess have a bright side to being sick.

Here I go...I plan on doing my workout tonight I will let you know how it goes.

Reasons

One of the "homework" assignments given as part of the weight loss challenge was to write down at least 5 reasons that I want to lose weight.

1. Health
I am really lucky that overall my health is good. I don't have any illnesses related to being over weight yet. But I know it is just a matter of time. So my number one reason to get healthy is for my health. I had a taste of what it would be like to have diabetes during my pregnancy and I didn't like it at all. Plus I want to be around for a long time so I want my body to hold up.

2. My Son
Before I had a baby my life was my own. If I did something stupid or didn't do anything at all it was me who was effected. Of course after I got married things effected my husband to a point. But now I have a son. If I choose to gain 200lbs and eat crappy food my life will be short, my son will not have a mother. I have seen first hand what losing a parent does to someone and I don't want to have my son go through that if I can help it.So I need to be healthy.

3. Activity
I always was a very active person growing up. Of course with the addition of extra weight that has changed. I want to be able to go hiking, biking and swimming without having to be embarrassed because I am out of shape.

4. Set an example
I want to set an example for people. To be an inspiration, I know plenty of people who need to lose weight and I can't rightfully tell them that they need to when I am sitting here the way I am.

5. Vanity
Of course I would be lying if I said I won't care how I look. Because I would love to be able to walk into a store and pick up an outfit and have it look great on me. I don't go shopping anymore because nothing looks right.

Cravings are weird

I have a few minutes to write something while my boy is preoccupied with his flashy star toy we lovingly call "Star Friend".

 I have joined a weight loss challenge on Facebook. It is put on by someone who has had 3 children, and leads a very busy life but she still keeps fit and finds time to do that in. A question was asked on the group for the challenge about what would be our "Kryptonite" food.

French Fries...

As I wrote about before French Fries are the one food I can't avoid. The weird thing about that is I seldom actually crave french fries. I know that sounds crazy but it is true. I don't sit at my house and see an ad with fries and instantly need them. I have a few bags of fries in my freezer that have been there for months and haven't been eaten. French Fries don't make me a crazy lunatic until I get them, no that isn't how it works. If I go out to a restaurant that has French Fries that is where the problem start. I know I could order a side salad or some veggies but I don't. I know I could simply not get them at a fast food joint. But I don't when I see them on the menu I just have to have them with Ranch of course....that is how I gained so much weight in high school was eating fries everyday for lunch with ranch or BBQ sauce.

It is very hard for me to resist once I am standing/sitting there. We use to go to a Red Robin where the fries are bottomless..I use to make sure I ordered something that came with bottomless fries even if I didn't care for that meal itself. We have stopped going there because the calories in any of the food just wasn't worth it to me. I have not order fries since I last wrote about it. I did have a few from my husbands plate but I did not order my own. The good thing about skimming off my husbands plate is I only take 2 because I feel bad about eating his food.

I picked up a workout from Walmart that was 8.00 bucks that I have been wanting to buy since before I got pregnant only back then it was 20.00. It is Supreme 90 Day System. I previewed one of the first scheduled workout and it seems hard right now but definitely something that can be attained.

French Fries Galore

Well a lot has changed since my last post. That post was written exactly 14 days before my son Isaiah decided to make debut to the world. I have been in baby mode since then. He is a great little boy almost 4 months old now. SO funny! He cracks me up many times a day. He is also going to be an active little boy it is clear to me that I better begin training for the baby Olympics or I will be left in this little guys dust. He is already rolling over so he can get to different things he wants to play with...so much energy! So during the pregnancy as I mentioned previously I did not concern myself with losing weight(because your not suppose to). It was WONDERFUL!!! The first time in over 10 years that losing weight was not on my mind...it was peaceful. I didn't gain to much weight while pregnant under 30 pounds which was my goal. I know that sometimes pregnancy can get out of control and you can end up gaining the weight of an entire person. As I was already heavy I knew that I didn't want that to happen to me. After Isaiah was born I did lose the baby weight..most of it. I gained back about 8 pounds. With the arrival of a new baby means LOTS of pictures being taken of him and me. Before baby I wasn't fond of having pictures take of me because I was fat. After the baby I was okay with it because first of all everyone is looking at the little cutie not me, secondly I just had a baby I was allowed to be "fluffy". But now things are changing. I don't want to be one of those people that 5 years from now says well it is baby weight....no, no it is not! It is not doing a thing about it weight. I have seen pictures of me from Christmas these are the most recent and I don't like what I see. The time to change is upon me... I have identified what most of my problems are: FOOD! I love food, and the worse for me the better...nachos, pizza, french fries. Anything bad for me I love. I have a serious problem with fried foods and since being pregnant also candy. Which I went many, many years without wanting candy and now it seems like every time I go into the store I want to buy some. It is becoming clear to me that my food habits are becoming a problem. Don't get me wrong I love fruits and veggies. I often crave those things too, just not as much as the bad stuff. My first order of business is NO more french fries! These are my addiction I will go out to eat just to get them. The stupid thing is that I don't even really like them. I think it is just the greasy, salty factor that gets me. So from this point forward no more fries. I realize that there will be times when I slip and can't control it but the ultimate goal is to get my eating on a more healthy track and claim back the health that is mine. I have dodged having any major health issues but during the pregnancy I had a look into the future of what it might be if I got Diabetes and I didn't like that at all.. Here we go......

Almost time

I haven't had a chance to get to the pool this week. Having 3 doctors appointments a week doesn't give me a lot of extra time. This bums me out because just walking around in the pool really helped with all the aches and pains. I will have to try to get there on non-appointment days. The only problem is that they close really early those days and I am not sure when their open for my type of swimming. It is a therapy pool so they often have people in there doing physical therapy. That would be my dream job, working in the pool helping people with physical therapy. I love swimming and being in the water, and helping people. Seems like a win/win. I really wish I would have had better guidance in high school when it came to possible career choices. Who am I kidding though, I am almost 30 and still don't have a solid idea of what a good career would be. I do know that I don't want to be chained to a desk in a dark cubicle. Everything is coming along good with the baby. We only have a few weeks left and it is all becoming so real to me. I am really proud of myself for not having gained 80 or 100lbs during this pregnancy. I don't know what I did that made a difference. I didn't go crazy with cravings or allow myself loads of junk food. I am hovering between a total weight gain of 23 to 25lbs. I will be able to take him out for a few walks after he is born before the weather turns rainy so that will be really nice.

Long Time

Hard to believe it has been such a long time since I wrote. Well not really I forgot my password and every time I reset it, well I forget again. I blame this on pregnancy brain. I haven't been worrying about my weight at all this year which let me tell you has felt AMAZING! Words can not describe what it feels like not to constantly be on myself for not working out or not losing that weight. I have been on a never ending "life style" change for the better part of 11 years now. So this is a welcome break for me. Of course I have a little baby growing inside me well he is not so little I suppose he will be here in 4 weeks. So I have been being careful with actual weight gain from the pregnancy because I was already overweight when I got pregnant. So far I have only gained 23lbs which is pretty darn good. I had fears of gaining 80 or 100 on top of what I already weigh which would just be a disaster. I have started thinking about post baby food and workouts now that the time is drawing near. I know I want to do things differently then I have in the past. I feel like a diet shouldn't consume my life. I look at people and they are so consumed with food, I ate half a piece of cheese today, but its is okay because I didn't eat anything else..Okay that is extreme but I think you get my point. They are so concerned with every piece of food they eat and if they slip up it sets them back for months. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to just eat healthy, make good choices and what happens happens. Maybe I will drop 90 pounds. Maybe I won't but I refuse to be consumed by food and body images anymore. Of course having a new baby is going to encourage me to exercise more. I will be taking him for walks and as soon as he is up and moving be chasing after him. I don't want him to have a mom that just hangs out on the couch all the time. I want him to grow up and look back on his life and say wow mom and dad gave me a great life full of adventures and outdoor activities. I am very excited about this new chapter in my life. I am scared but I know we will be okay. This past year have been a huge eye opener in the fact that my life doesn't need to be consumed by diets, exercise and worrying if I would ever get to my goal weight.