Friday, July 26, 2013

Workout ADD

I love to workout. I love the feeling I get when I am sweating my butt off and I love the feeling I get after a workout. I feel accomplished, I feel slightly tired and I just feel so good. I have more workout dvd's then one person should really have. But still I find that I get bored easily. I have found my new best friend when it comes to workouts. YouTube!! There are so many workout on there that you just put in what you feel like doing and there is likely a workout for it. It is completely awesome for someone like me!!

Lets talk about food a little bit. Tonight I made the BEST dinner ever. We have these salmon fillets and they tasted kinda gross when I was just steaming them. So tonight I was just trying to get ride of them. I mixed tomato sauce and paste with some clams and made a sauce. Seasoned it with garlic and chipotle pepper. Then I topped my salmon with it and YUM!! I keep experimenting with food to find healthy versions of things that just taste amazing. My snack tonight was peanut butter with cocoa it was similar to candy so that is a win for me.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Late Night Workout

I get my workout in when ever I can. Sometimes it is in the morning, sometimes the afternoon and occasionally it is very late at night. I wasn't going to workout because it was late and I wanted to sit on my butt and watch Tv. But I decided that if I want to reach my goals then I can't just sit there and hope a magic genie comes along and grants me 3 wishes.

It was Day 2 of Supreme 90 which means Ultimate Ball. I love that workout. It makes me feel so strong. I wish I had more to say right now but it is late and I need to get to bed.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013


When I was a teenager for a brief moment I had a lot of self-confidence. I was thin, pretty and got along great with everyone. I really honestly wish I could pin-point the moment that all changed. Well maybe it was when I was talking to a guy online I weighed probably 150 and I was 5'6 he told me I looked fat. Maybe that was it..I honestly don't know when it could have happened. But I can tell you that after it did I started taking notice of comments like you are fat, or you need to lose weight, or are you eating that. Recently I started talking to my sister about my weight problems and she said well it is no wonder you use to cook eggs and toast in the middle of the night...I had no memory of that. None at all! I do know that binge eating especially at night was a problem for me for a very long time.

But slowly I started to lack self confidence. I would not wear shorts my legs were to white, to lumpy, to short, to fat whatever reason I had I would sit in the heat of summer wearing pants. Then in adulthood I discovered capri's which became a staple in my closet for years. I only started wearing shorts when I was pregnant because lets be honest what kind of jerk will make fun of a pregnant lady. I think it comes down to the fact that I don't want to be made fun of.

I am always looking at my fat rolls, my fat stomach. I hate my stomach..I have always looked pregnant even when I wasn't. I have a very muscular frame so I pack on weight but I can carry it well. Most people would be shocked to know my actual weight because I carry it well.

So I need to work on my self confidence. My husband doesn't understand why I had this self hate for all these years. I don't either. But I do know that I am starting to find things about me that I love. I love my eyes. I love my skin, my nose. I will work on loving the rest of me, slowly. But I will get there.

Today I wore shorts out in public, I wasn't embarrassed and I didn't care what anyone thought of me. How about a little cheer for progress!!

Monday, July 1, 2013

Change of Heart

I won't be hiding my old entries, mostly because I don't know how..but also because I realize I am not the only one that has these issues and maybe if someone reads this they will realize they aren't the only one either. So they shall stay.

Just a Quickie

For some reason I felt the need to delete all entries except from the last few days. But me being me I couldn't delete them so I made them unavailable. I am sick of looking back at the person who kept failing. I know that those experiences have given me the knowledge and will to be where I am today, but I feel like it is living in the past a bit. Every start over, every oh Monday. To me it feels a bit like cleaning out your closet and getting rid of all that junk. It feels good.

Today was another hot one here. Nothing like they are getting in Arizona but hot for here. Due to my little boy getting sick yesterday from the heat I was a cautious mama and didn't go out and do anything crazy. I am still well within my exercise every 3 days rule so its all good.

The more I learn about living a healthy lifestyle the more it feels like a game of the mind rather then body. If you can get your mind to cooperate then your body will too.

It is late and I need my beauty sleep.