Saturday, May 28, 2011


I don't really want to clutter up this blog with feelings ( I have another place for that). I have been feeling super depressed lately. There are a lot of reasons: People are dying, hubby's dad is going down hill fast, we are having difficulties finding jobs, and on top of that my weight.

The weather has been a real drag around here lately, making me not want to go out and walk. I tell myself that I will do some other exercise at home..but I never do. Which makes me get really down on myself.

I don't know I just don't feel right. :-(

Today I did get out and walk. I went and did 4.5 miles in an hour. It was very nice. I miss it. It makes me feel so good. I have this fear that IF I don't get my weight under control right now. It will just keep getting bigger and bigger. We really want to have a baby, in the near future. But I don't want to get pregnant at this size because I know what that means...I will be bigger.

I am at the highest weight I have EVER been. 10 more pounds and I am at a weight I NEVER thought I would be close to. A weight that when you hear it you are like wow that is big. I am starting to look my weight now. Before I would weight 220 and people would think I was much lighter. I can't hide it anymore.

I NEED this!!!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

That is Chef Stephanie

I have been having a real blast lately with planning dinners. I get very bored of the same old thing. If I am having food that is healthy for me, I want it to be interesting and taste good. So every night I try to come up with something interesting to eat. Last night we had Sesame Asian Chicken, and red potatoes. It was delicious, I made the sauce myself. The night before that we had Marinated Portabello mushrooms, grilled green peppers, onion, and zucchini. It was really good. The husband didn't even mind that it wasn't steak lol. Tonight we are having Quinoa and Black Beans. I am hoping it will be good.

I still have either sauteed spinach or just spinach salad drizzled in olive oil almost every night. I just love it that much. I have Greek yogurt almost everyday also in place of a dessert. I think I love that stuff to much lol. I just had it with some turkey meatballs, it was good (don't judge me lol).

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Who is this??

Today I had a little laugh at myself. I was standing in the kitchen putting my Portabello Mushrooms in a bag to marinate. I added in the Olive Oil, the Balsamic Vinegar and started peeling the Garlic, and cutting the Onion, and grating the ginger. I thought about what I was doing and just thought "Who am I".. I literally have ginger root, garlic, onions, fresh veggies, fruit, olive oil in my house....and I use them to cook. In the past I never would have had these things.

I love it though. The fresh ingredients just taste so good. They add so many different flavors to things. There is something pretty awesome about preparing a healthy meal for yourself. Standing there and chopping up all the ingredients and making something out of them.

I have also started a walking group. We meet at the college and walk around the track for an hour or so and chit-chat. It really makes the walking much more fun when there is someone to talk about. The time really flies by.

The sun has been out here in Portland and it is AMAZING! Nothing like a good dose of Vitamin D. Which by the way they are saying helps with weight loss. THAT is why I am fat...I live in the Northwest were there is no sunshine..I can finally blame it on the rain..the RAIN made me FAT!! (hehehe)

Hope everyone is doing well.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Recipe Generator

I found this website and it is basically perfect for me. Recipe Generator I always have ingredients in the house, but I never know what to cook with them..well now I do!

Today has been a very lazy day. It always happens this way when I travel, I swear I need a few days to recover from traveling.

We went grocery shopping last night and picked out fruits and veggies. And we grabbed some items we have never had fresh: Ginger root, tomatillo(sp) and fresh basil.(I bought a basil plant) That sure made shopping fun, I was sniffing basil the whole time. Yummy!

So far today I have eaten, Fruit salad( 1 apple, 1 orange 1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt, 2 Tsp honey) It was really delicious. Lunch was a 1/2 Pita, some light mayo, Turkey Meat and slice of cheese. I am planning on doing some sauteed spinach, steak and something else. I also spent the extra few cents and bought whole grain pasta.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Food Suggestions??

So I have written some about my favorite go to foods. What I would like if everyone can suggest some of their go to foods. What is a favorite food you have found that is really healthy and something you eat a lot.

I will be heading out to my Grandparents house tomorrow. I can hardly wait, they only live 6 hours away but I don't get out there as much as I like. Believe it or not when your in college you have NO free time. You don't get to leave school and have that night to yourself or the weekends. I am constantly doing work and what is worse some of my online courses require me to turn in work on the weekends. So I am actually never able to get away for more then a day or so, because I always have to be back to do homework.

I am thinking tonight is a Zumba night. I actually did it two nights in a row without really thinking about it. It was just that much fun. I don't even know if I am having a good calorie burn since it is just a Wii game, but I know that I keep moving during the whole time and try to follow the steps. So I figure I should be burning a few calories. I am still WANTING a spinning podcast to so I can use my exercise bike to its full abilities. I push myself much harder when I have something to follow.


Sunday, May 8, 2011

My next 30 years

One and a half years and I will be 30. That really isn't the point of this entry, age doesn't really bother me as much as I think it does some people. The point of this entry it what I want.

I want to be healthy and fit by the time that birthday rolls around. I have spent nearly all my 20's chasing that goal. Mostly in half-ass attempts which have resulted in well...nothing.

Looking at a clothing catalog the other day this hit me. I was looking at the trendy clothes and really wanted to be able to just order everything that I thought was cute. To bad I can't, because EVEN if they had my size I can 100% guarantee it will not look like it does on those models on me...or even close to that. It will be all lumpy and stretched out and just look like a bag of potatoes wearing something cute.

So I want to be able to buy clothes that are cute and of course age appropriate for me. I don't need to go wearing something that a 21 year old would wear. But I want the world to see the real me. Not the me that hides behind, tshirts, jeans and sweatshirts/hoodies and jackets.

Here I come!!!!

On a side note, I did Wii Zumba last night. It was fun and it got my heart pumping. I missed probably 80% of the steps but I kept moving. I figured that the steps will come later. Some of the dance moves are AWESOME!! You feel like your out shaking your butt at a club. But the best part is NO one is there to watch you look like an idiot.

Well that is all for now.

Happy Mother's Day to the mom's out there.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Cycling Podcasts??

Well, I have been doing okay. I decided I need to start working out. To bad the weather has decided it will not support me walking/jogging outside yet. (Stupid Rain). So I am going to have to just do my own thing. Probably bust one some of the millions of DVD's I have for working out. Use the Wii Fit again. Something to get myself back in the swing again. I have the exercise bike and the rowing machine I could probably utilize as well.

Do you know what I REALLY want..I want a spinning type workout that I can listen to on my Ipod. That won't cost me a fortune to use. I found a free one from Motion Traxx I think it is. But they only have the one. It is perfect and amazing and just a butt kickin' workout..but to be honest since it is the only one of its kind out there I get a little bored with it. I mean you can only go up the same hills so many times lol.

I would just LOVE LOVE LOVE it if someone would make some more of these things. Maybe I should try to find some good interval training things with good music.

That is my little life in a nutshell..How is everyone else doing?

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Pity Party is Over

I appreciate the comments on my last entry. It was just a really bad time for me and I was feeling down and in the dumps, then I go and try on clothes and it just makes it even worse.

In the end there is no magic little person who can take my hand and lead me down the path to thindom. I know this, you know this, we all know this. But sometimes I just WISH it wasn't so.

In the end the only one that can take me where I need and want to be in me. I am the driver, and planner of that trip. I decide when I move smoothly along that path, I also decide when I will take detours, breaks or choose the bumpiest most pot-filled road. These are all things I choose. And when I am not eating right and not feeling successful those are my choices also. It is me..

I have been trying very hard to find foods that I like. And incorporate them into my daily eating lifestyle. In the past I eaten yogurt both greek and regular ( watch the sugar and calories). I also like fruits and veggies. Breakfast not my greatest time of the day..I HATE HATE HATE oatmeal, I will never like it and that is the end of story. So I try to eat something like Cheerios from Target ( NO sugar whatsoever in them). Or I will have Shredded Wheat. I have been using Whole Wheat Pita's for sandwiches either with feta cheese and Tzatiki (sp) or Roast Beef and Gouda ( with no mayo).

My new favorite thing and let me just say it might gross some out but you have to understand I have LOVED spinach since I was a kid, use to eat it all the time.

So my new favorite thing is sauteed spinach with olive oil, garlic, and sometimes mushrooms. It is so yummy I just love it. Obviously use the fresh baby spinach not the mushy can stuff ( which I love lol).

Small steps. I know I will not be thin over night..actually I may never be thin, but I can make sure I am eating healthy and exercising for a healthy me.