Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Day the Mirror was Kind

Today has overall been a pretty good day. The mirror that I looked in made me feel a bit skinny, which is a big motivation for me and the scale was kind as well. I have been very careful of what I eat. However, I don't consider myself out of the woods when it comes to eating until I am sleeping soundly in my bed for the night. There are still a few hours left in my day and lets just say this is the prime time for my night time binges.

My eating rampages start simple enough. Something sounds good or something on TV triggers my brain to go in search of a food to quiet the craving. So I do. Like I said it starts out simple enough. But then it just progresses from there like an avalanche coming down the mountain. It is like an event almost you eat and eat and eat, little bits of this and little bits of that until you are stuffed and don't know why. Then you sit down like a winded runner and think WHAT THE HELL just happened. You look around and there are empty plates and bowls scattered about. It is just a mess. I would say I have this happen to me 1 night a week. Usually less when I am "making an effort" to lose weight. The other night my husband was completely shocked, he was like how did you eat all that?? I am sneaky. This is a very bad behavior to get into, it is not funny, in fact it is dangerous. But I am working very hard on not having these binges. The aftermath of them is just disgusting I feel gross, I am stuffed and just feel really shitty about myself. I know why I do it. I made it a point to identify the cause so that I can see the triggers and then focus the energy elsewhere.

So overall, this day as turned out alright. I am still a few hours to go until bed time but I am definitely aware of the problem and will not let it take me down.

No comments:

Post a Comment